I’m going to share with you a very private letter I wrote 6 months ago that has made a pretty massive difference in the way I live my life. That’s down below.
But first I have a favor to ask of you.
The past couple days I’ve shared with you some beautifully inspirational videos by two people I’m lucky to call friends. Sean Stephenson and Lisa Nichols. I’ve gotten so much great feedback from you guys that it makes me want to do more.
So I’ve been searching like a bloodhound for more videos I can send you. While I search, I encourage you to send your videos to me. Do that by going to my blog HERE and posting them in the comments section. Post a YouTube or website link of a video or site that really inspires YOU. You’ll be sharing it with me and everyone else who reads this…it will be a really cool project.
You know, two of the major themes that both Sean and Lisa talked about is the power of connecting and living bigger than you are.
But a lot of people (me included sometimes) face fears we didn’t know we had.
Here’s the thing about “fear”…
It’s imaginary. Just as faith is also imaginary. And both being imaginary, they are subject to YOUR mental control.
What are you afraid of? Public speaking? Failing a class? Quitting your job and starting new business? Asking a pretty woman out or even ending a relationship?
Whatever it is, fear is nothing more than a “Negative Expectation.” When you’re afraid, what are you imagining? What could go wrong…THAT’S what you’re thinking of. So what if you swapped that out for a POSITIVE expectation instead.
Did you know that the feelings you get in your body when you feel fear are the EXACT same as when you feel excitement? It’s true. Heart racing, nasty, hard to focus, blood pumping, maybe even butterflies.
The only difference is the expected result. And YOU control the expectation. So flip it around.
Here’s another trick to send fear packing.
It might sound stupid…but you should do it anyway.
Write a letter to FEAR. (What?!) Yep. Write it a letter, thanking it for trying to help, but introducing it to Excitement.
Here was one I wrote 6 months ago:
This is awkward, but we have to talk. We’ve been together a while now and it seems that you like to take control of this relationship…and act like you’re in charge.
But you’re not…and things are about to change.
Look, don’t take this the wrong way, I’m not saying to go away and never come back…that would be stupid of me. Because I realize that you’re really there to protect me from making stupid decisions. And I totally appreciate that.
But you can be like an overbearing parent sometimes. You seem to go to far keep me from making changes I need just in order to protect me.
I want to let you know that I Hear You. I accept that you’re trying to protect me and I consider the risks I’m taking.
But you ONLY think of the things that can go wrong. And you never seem to focus on what can go right. And you know I have the ability to make things happen and bounce back when they don’t.
So we’re going to have to make room for Excitement in this relationship.
You two will get along nicely…you have a lot in common already. I have to be honest, Excitement is a bit more fun to hang out with though…but he DOES get a little crazy sometimes, so that’s when I need you to chime in. But say your piece and then shut up and let me decide.
Fear, I don’t fear you anymore (which feels good). I embrace you. And I thank you.
So the next time we’re together…I just want you to know that Excitement is coming with. And he’s riding shotgun. You’ve got the backseat…but you’re still welcome to come.
I promise we’re going to have a lot more fun now that the 3 of us are running together.
Thanks for everything bud…
Brad
Corny isn’t it? Maybe. But if YOU take 5 minutes and just write something similar…it will be amazing what you’ll be able to do in your life.
It worked for me. Just writing it out made it real. It made me see Fear as a friend and it made me imagine Excitement riding shotgun in my life. Now when I have a big scary choice to make, I turn to both my friends, ask their opinions and make a decision on whether to leap or wait. (Personally, I usually leap…but that’s just me).
If you face fear a lot in your life, there’s hope.
If you face fear in social situations, there’s a lot of ways to get over that. Maybe what I wrote today will make all the difference for you.
If not, you can check out this site by Nick Sparks.
He held a seminar teaching guys how to be fearless with women. And it’s gotten some great feedback.
But just know that you have the power to turn fear into excitement and still benefit from what fear’s trying to do…which is protect you.
Thanks!
Brad
P.S. Here’s a short video introduction to Nick’s Fearless program if you haven’t seen it
For more information on FEARLESS <—go there
NOW…please let me know what you thought of this post in the comments below and if you have any videos or links that you find inspirational and moving, post them in the comments too.
Tags: apporach anxiety, fearless, overcome fear
Leave A Reply (3 comments So Far)
Matthias
266 days ago
Hey,
Here is a very inspiring video, it’s called “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch.
He is an incredible human!
I hope you enjoy it, here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
Matthias
bradjackson
266 days ago
I LOVE the Last Lecture Matthias!
Alex
266 days ago
Hey Brad,
Tony Robbins also has a great piece on how to deal with emotions, one being ‘fear’. He says that emotions like fear are a good thing. They are there to tell you something, to send you a signal. For example, the emotion of ‘fear’ is a signal telling you that you need to ‘prepare’. The more prepared you are, the less fear you have.
In your niche, you teach people how to meet women and interact with them. If someone fears approaching a woman, its probably because they’re not ‘prepared’ in terms of what they’re going to say to them and how to keep the conversation going. But if they have a couple of approach openers in their pocket, and a few stories to keep the conversation going past the first 60 seconds, then they’re likely to feel less fear, because they’re more prepared.
Tony talks about it in more detail than I can explain in this comment. Its part of his 6 disc Mastery Series. Highly recommended BTW!!! I listen to it to and from the office every day. Very inspiration, motivational, and informative!
Love the videos from Sean and Lisa. I signed up for Sean’s 4-part video series a couple of days ago. I’m working on Sean’s Triad to balance everything out. My health is good (although I’m struggling to lose that last 10 pounds, but I know its a diet imbalance), I have a wonderful marriage of 10 years (been with my wife since I was 19, 36 now), and the finances are just starting to catch up (partially because I got stung on an investment deal for a big chunk of change, and my wife started her own business 2 years ago, which is starting to flourish now.
Thanks Brad!
Alex